Team 7 Body Swap
by recodan
Summary: Everyone in Team 7 swaps bodies. Hilarity ensues. Short chapters but hopeully frequent updates.
1. Chapter 1

Sakura's eyes bugged.

Well, not Sakura's eyes. Naruto's eyes.

But they were hers.

_What?_ thought Sakura, confused by her thoughts.

_Okay…I woke up in Naruto's filthy apartment….in his body…._

" I give up." she said turning around and brushing several empty cups of ramen off of the single chair in his bedroom and taking a seat. She had no idea how to solve this problem, no idea how it could happen, and was going to just relax.

_Oh._ she thought, feeling warm liquids run down her leg. _Yeah. Boys pee differently. First order of business: Bladder Control!_

-----

" The hell?" said Sasuke, blinking. He had to still be asleep, but since the Sakura he saw in the mirror did everything he did, he could feel breasts, and woke up in a pink room, he came to the horrible conclusion.

He was in Sakura's body, and he had just wet himself.

----

" Woah." said Naruto, flexing his muscles in the mirror. _Kaka-sensei is ripped!_

" Wait, why am I in his body?" Naruto asked aloud. He put his hand to his chin, feeling the mask. " The mask!" cheered Naruto, taking the cloth off. He finally got to see Kaka-sensei's face!

He looked in the mirror for a moment, then put the mask back on.

_That is even grosser than those boxers I left on the microwave for a year. _thought Naruto with a shudder.

----

" Oh joy." said Kakashi, checking in his pants. " I get to go though puberty again."

----

With some difficulty Sasuke had showered (with his eyes closed), changed into new clothes, and walked outside to go find the others on his team. It was hard, because Sakura's hips moved differently than his.

And he had boobs.

He walked down the street, feeling as awkward as he had ever in his life. He got a number of smiles from people that made him fell…dirty. Pleasant smiles from boys, men, old men, really old men, and really, really, old men.

He found the Uchiha Manor and entered, looking for his body. Most likely, he would find Sakura in it….and hoped she had been nice enough to close her eyes as he had. He opened the door and entered, where he found himself walking around with active Sharingan.

" Yo." said 'Sasuke', waving slightly.

" Uh, hi." said Sasuke in Sakura's feminine voice.

" So, this is going to sound weird, but I'm Kakashi." said his body, smiling. The trademark arched eyes made it obvious that it was his teacher.

" I'm Sasuke." he said with a nod.

" Really?" said Kakashi, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

" Unfortunately."

" First, I want to say that Sharingan are incredibly easy to use in your body." said Kakashi, looking at him with the red eyes. " Second, we should go find my body and Naruto."

" Why Naruto?" asked Sasuke.

" Because I want to know who's in my body, and this is probably Naruto's fault."

----

That had been….awkward.

Okay, it was disgusting.

But she had really had to pee and there was no way around it.

It had also been kinda nice to be able to stand up.

But she hadn't expected to get….it….caught in the zipper.

" How the hell do they deal with that?" said Sakura, wincing as she walked out of the bathroom. She walked into the kitchen, feeling hungry and wanting something to eat. _Besides ramen_ she thought as she opened the cupboard. It was completely full of ramen. "Fine, fine." she said, taking out a cup of ramen and putting it into the microwave. When it finished ( and she had disposed of some orange underwear that had been totally gross.) she sighed and took a bite.

Ten minutes later, she put down her fifth cup.

" That….was…..amazing." said Sakura in awe, patting her stomach contentedly. She had never eaten anything that tasted so…right. She knew why the boy ate it so much, but she'd had ramen before and never experienced anything like that.

She was distracted from her post-feast stupor by knocking on the door. She walked to over and opened it, finding Sasuke and her body standing there.

" Sasuke-kun!" she squealed in Naruto's screechy voice. The right eye on her body twitched.

" I'm…Sasuke." said her body.

" I'm Kakashi. Hi Sakura. You too?" said Kakashi ( from Sasuke's body) in a cheery voice.

" Yeah." said Sakura embarrassedly.

" Well, off to my place." said Kakashi. " That's where we'll find Naruto I bet."

" Hold on a moment." said Sakura, grabbing Naruto's jacket.

" Hey….Sakura." said Sasuke, blushing deeply.

" Yes?"

" The rash on your right thigh….you should get it looked at."

Sakura blinked. _Oh god. He saw me naked. HE SAW ME NAKED? I only got to see Naruto's thingy! That's not fair!_

" Don't worry." said Kakashi, reading Sakura's look. " You didn't miss out on much."

Sasuke shot Kakashi the most hateful look in history.

----

" Man, this is easy!" said Naruto, finishing his hundredth one-handed pushup. He was sweating heavily and his muscles ached, but had he trained like this in his body, he would have died!

Kakashi's body was so much faster and stronger than his it was incredible, but he got tired a lot quicker and didn't have nearly as much chakra. _I guess he had to have some weakness._ thought Naruto standing up.

Out of curiosity he opened his Sharingan eye to see what it was like. He gaped visabally as he looked around, seeing everything in more than perfect detail. He could see chakra, tell where things were moving to next, and sense every pattern.

" Ow!" he cried, claming his eyes shut. His chakra reserve had taken a big hit. _That's why he doesn't use it much._ thought Naruto. _With his chakra level, he's only got a few minutes at most. _

A knock came at the door of Kakashi's modest bachelor pad. Naruto walked over and opened it, looking at what looked like his genin team.

" Hey Naruto." said Sakura in a sullen voice.

" So, what do you think of being a adult?" asked Sasuke cheerily.

" I got your thingy caught in your pant's zipper." said his body, blushing.

" Uh…." said Naruto, blinking. " Come in."

----

" So we just switched for no reason?" asked Naruto, scratching his head.

" Yep." said Kakashi cheerily.

" I want my body back." said Sasuke. " It's impossible to move your arms, Sakura."

" Why?" asked Sakura, blinking.

" Your boobs get in the way." said Sasuke mutedly. Sakura giggled slightly at his pout.

" Well, let's go see Granny Tsunade!" said Naruto, standing up. " She'll know what to do!"

" Hey Sasuke, Kaka-sensei, could you go outside for a moment?" said Sakura, blushing deeply.

" Sure." said Kakashi, dragging Sasuke outside, though the Uchiha protested. When they were gone, Sakura turned to Naruto embarrassedly.

" I've…um….got…your thingy….it's…." Sakura shuddered, then blurted it out. " I think I have a erection."

" Ew." said Naruto, his one visible eye blinking. " Uh, think of Choji."

" I tried."

" Doing jumping jacks in Lee's jumpsuit."

"…"

" Okay, it's gone. Thanks."

----

" So, to sum it up, we have no idea what's going on." said Kakashi (in Naruto's body), finishing his explanation.

Tsunade looked at them blankly. She had been confused by their actions initially, but this…explained things…sort of….

" Shizune!" barked Tsunade. " I'll need a bucket of sake!"

" We got another big problem?" said the beleaguered assistant, walking in with several bottles.

" We switched bodies." said Naruto (in Kakashi's body).

Shizune looked at them blankly, handed Tsunade all but one of the bottles, uncorked the sake and took a long drink.

This was going to be a rough day.

------

MOAR TO COME

MUCH, MUCH MOAR.


	2. Chapter 2

"Okash." slurred the Hokage after getting good and drunk. " Tell mes whash happ…ned."

" Madam Hokage, your drunk." said Kakashi ( in Sasuke's body).

" She is not!" said the tipsy Shizune. " Tsunade-shama is perfally fine!"

" Well, I guess we won't find anything out today." said Naruto (in Kakashi's body). " Let's go."

Team Seven walked outside awkwardly, still unused to their new bodies. They took seats on the bench outside of the tower to discuss their options.

" So, Tsunade-sama is drunk and can't help." said Sasuke ( in Sakura's body) sourly.

" And if Kaka-sensei doesn't have any clue either, I bet nobody else will." said Sakura (in Naruto's body), sighing with despair. _I have to stay in Naruto's stupid body for who knows how long!_

" We should go train." said Naruto ( in Kakashi's body), standing up. " There's no real point in trying to solve this without Granny Tsunade's help."

" It's too bad we're such a headache she needs sake to deal with us." said Kakashi (in Sasuke's body), hopping to his feet. It felt so great to be a kid again.

" Remember last week, when we got hospitalized by the guy with ninja hamsters?" said Sakura, reminding them of the incident. " And when Sasuke tried to catch the cat with his Chidori?"

" I wasn't trying to catch it." said Saskue sourly.

" Were just one distaster after another is all I'm saying." said Sakura, sighing.

" Then we should go train and figure out how these bodies work so we can begin missions again!" said Naruto impatiently.

" We shouldn't go on missions like this!" said Sakura angrily.

" What else are we gonna do?" said Naruto, shrugging.

There was silence as the rest of Team Seven realized Naruto had trapped them with logic.

----

" So, how does the Sharingan work, Kaka-sensei?" asked Naruto, jogging in place at their favorite training ground.

" Well, you just focus a small amount of chakra to it when it's not covered or it hurts. After that, everythings automatic." said Kakashi, flexing Sasuke's arms.

" But what if I want to use one of the techniques you copied?" said Naruto, sounding worried.

" I…don't know." said Kakashi, blinking. " Let me try something."

Kakashi activated Sasuke's Sharingan, still amazed at the ease of using them. _I never realized that my body was that poorly adjusted._ He focused, trying to remember the thousands of techniques he had copied, but he couldn't recall any. However, he could see the taijustu moves Sasuke had copied from Lee and a number of other techniques Sasuke had learned with his eyes.

" It looks like the abilities of the Sharingan didn't transfer, so I guess you have them." said Kakashi with a sigh, deactivating his Sharingan. " Don't forget, though, I don't have much chakra, so be careful."

" You don't have much chakra?" said Sakura in surprise.

" My reserves, though jounin level, are under average. It's my main weak spot." said Kakashi, rubbing the back of his head. " Though I still have a couple times more than you and Sasuke do."

" But Naruto's got more." said Sakura, focusing her chakra. She gasped as she felt the immense pool of energy at her beck and call. _He's got that much? Damn, Naruto, I knew you had a lot, but this isn't even fair!_

" I can't believe this." growled Sasuke angrily. " I lost the Sharingan, I have the weakest body….we better switch back soon." _And I hate this stupid breasts!_ he though angrily, glaring at the mammary glands under the pink shirt.

" Try focusing a Chidori." said Kakashi lazily. Sighing, Sasuke did. In the background Naruto had began hurling around Water Dragon's, creating walls out of the ground, and raced around at Kakashi's lightning speed.

" Fine." replied Sasuke, gripping his wrist and channeling Sakura's meager chakra supply. She had only half of what he did. He was surprised, though, at how easily the chakra flowed into her arm and the power of the lightning that formed on her hand.

" Sakura's chakra control has built her system to be highly efficient." said Kakashi, smiling at Sasuke's incredulous look. " Even with your level, it will work incredibly well. Even more importantly, Sakura's body's chakra is more lightning aligned than yours. Fire is your primary element, so no matter what, your Chidori would never have been as strong as it could have been. See how many you can make."

Not needing a second command, Sasuke lunged forward and stabbed the Chidori into a tree. Despite himself, he began to become excited as he jabbed the third, then fourth, then fifth into the tree, feeling his chakra supplies barely draining.

" I never knew how many techniques there was!" said Naruto finishing a water jutsu, the eighty third technique he had tried.

" You always likes Shadow Clones so much, you never listened when I talked about the others." said Kakashi, sounding annoyed.

" Shadow Clones!" said Sakura eagerly. _I'd wanted to try that forever, but I didn't have the chakra!_ Eagerly, she focused the massive chakra and formed the seals.

----

BAM.

" What was that?" said Guy, looking in the direction of his rivals team's training field. It had sounded like there had been a explosion.

----

" Damn, Sakura-chan." whistled Naruto, looking at the thousands of clones.

" I barely used a quarter of your chakra!" said Sakura, blinking in amazement. " How the hell did I do all that?"

" Sakura, about how many times more chakra does Naruto have than you?" asked Sasuke, breathing hard. He had just finished his twenty first Chidori. Sakura closed her eyes and focused for a moment.

" No clue." she said flatly. " I can't even guess, it's so huge."

" Am I awesome or what!" said Naruto, throwing his hands into the air. Suddenly, he froze and toppled over.

" Watch it." said Kakashi, covering his bodies Sharingan. " If you use it too much, it hurts a bit."

" It's like I ate shuriken." croaked Naruto.

" Ooh, I hate that feeling." said Kakashi, shuddering. _But these eyes…I feel fine and I've had them going for hours. No wonder Itachi kicked my ass._

" Thirty four!" said Sasuke triumphantly, stabbing the Chidori into another tree.

" I thought it was hard to do that many." said Sakura, the legion of clones vanishing.

" Not with your chakra control and lightning affinity." said Kakashi, smiling.

" Owwwwwwwwww." moaned Naruto.

-----

" Ramen." said Naruto, clawing his way up the counter at the ramen stand.

" I see we've got another Naruto!" said Teuchi with a laugh.

" That is Naruto." said Sasuke, taking a seat.

" Oooh, you finally agreed to meet Naruto here?" said Ayame, giving Sasuke ( who was in Sakura's body) a smile. " But why is he in disguise?" asked the girl, looking confused.

" He's not in disguise." said Kakashi, taking a seat.

" All our bodies got switched." said Sakura, struggling to get on the tall stool. _Man, Naruto is short!_

" Oh." said Ayame, not missing a beat. Team Seven was famous for strange things like this. " Sorry to hear that."

" It's not so bad." said Naruto, looking at a bowl of ramen longingly. " I've got like a bajillion jutsu's, Sasuke can use Chidori whenever he wants to, Sakura gets a huge chakra supply, and Kaka-sensei gets Sharingan that work better."

" Naruto, what are you talking about?" said Sakura angrily. " I'd take my body back in a minute!"

" I have to agree." said Kakashi.

" I'm with Naruto." said Sasuke, breaking his chopsticks apart with a Chidori. " This is completely awesome."

" R-really, Sasuke-kun?" said Sakura, blinking in surprise. _If Sasuke likes it, I suppose it's okay._

" Here you go!" said Ayame, handing them their bowls of noodles and broth.

" All right!" said Naruto, taking a bite. His face paled visiablly. Besides him, Sakura tore into the ramen voraciously.

" It's….awful." said Naruto, tears running down his face and damping the mask.

Sakura just snorted as she inhaled the noodles.

-----

" Well, today's one for my diary." said Sakura, walking with her team as the sun set.

" We should probably go to our bodies homes." said Kakashi.

" Do we have to?" whined Sasuke, grimacing. He could just imagine how sick all that pink was going to make him.

" Do you want your body seen going into Sakura's house and sleeping in her room?" asked Kakashi.

" See ya!" said Sasuke, waving as he raced towards the Haruno residence.

" I get to eat more ramen!" cheered Sakura, running for Naruto's apartment.

" I guess….I'll go read your porn or something, sensei." said Naruto, sounding unhappy.

" You don't have to." said Kakashi. " I'd rather you didn't."

" Good. See ya tomorrow!" said his body, running off.

_And I get to go to a giant empty mansion. Yay for the Uchiha._ thought Kakashi, walking towards the Uchiha residence.

----

" Mmmmm." said Sakura, putting down the empty ramen cup. It had taken twenty of them, but she finally felt full. She stood up at stretched, but doubled over as she felt her stomach gurgle.

_Diarrhea?_ she thought in terror.

-----

_Dammit!_ thought Sasuke. _Dammit dammit dammit!_

" Now, I know this is a uncomfortable topic sweetie, but I think it's best we get this talk out of the way now." said Sakura mother. She had cornered her daughter in her room.

" I think…." began Sasuke.

" No, were going to do this, no complaints." snapped Sakura's mother, cutting him off. " Now, you already know that boys have different parts than girls, but I don't expect you know how exactly everything works. It starts when the blood begins to flow to the boys…."

_Must…not…use Chidori…on Sakura's mom…._ thought Sasuke, his eye twitching rapidly.

----

" He had satellite and cable?" said Kakashi in surprise, flipping though the channels on Sasuke's big screen TV. He came to one of the adult channels he had always wanted but couldn't afford.

" Sweet." he said, sitting back in the chair and taking out a bowl of popcorn.

----

" Make Out Destruction…..Make Out Breakdancing….Make Out Annexation…."

Naruto had been going thought Kakashi's exhaustive collection of Jiraiya's novels. He had hundreds, all arranged neatly on shelves.

" Make Out Yodeling?" said Naruto in bewilderment, pulling out the book. On the cover was a man and a woman in lederhosen. " Okay then." he said, putting it away.

"I guess I start with the first one." said Naruto, pulling our Make Out Paradise from the shelf and opening it.

----

" And then the sperm swim into your womb…."

_Can't kill her. Can't kill myself. Can't kill her. Can't kill myself. _

_----_

" Cartoons?" said Kakashi in confusing, finding the list of Sasuke's favorite channels. He flicked though a few, coming to Spongebob. For a moment he thought about it, then decided to hell with it and pushed the button.

" Heh." said Kakashi, taking a bite of popcorn as the animation began.

----

" And then a mucus plug forms…"

_Must…bite off own ears!_

_----_

" Oh god!" yelled Sakura as the stench overpowered her. She'd been in the bathroom for nearly a hour, but Naruto's intestines continued to issue their contents forth. " I'm going to kill him!" she gasped. " Just for having a body like this, I'm going to kill him!"

_And when the hell did he eat so much corn? _thought Inner Sakura.

----

Kakashi was laughing out loud.

At a cartoon.

He'd never done that.

As a kid, he's always spent all his time training. The few times he'd watched television, it had bored him.

But now, he was laughing deeper than he ever had in his life.

_Naruto might have been right._ though Kakashi between chuckles.

----

" You can do that?" exclaimed Naruto in disbelief. " Why would you do that? Wouldn't that hurt?"

Knock knock.

" Huh?" said Naruto, looking up from Make Out Paradise. Someone was at the door. He put the book down, made sure he looked right, and went over to answer it. He was greeted by a angry looking Anko.

" You missed our date." she said, scowling. " Not just late, but missed it. Why?"

" I was reading porn! Don't kill me!" said Naruto, cringing. Anko blinked.

" Were you just…honest?" said the special jounin, sounding surprised. " No 'old woman in danger' or anything? You were just reading porn?"

" Uh….yeah? It's on the table." said Naruto, pointing to the orange book.

" Finally!" said Anko, squealing giddily. " You finally trust me enough to tell the truth!"

Naruto didn't know how, but he was suddenly pinned to the floor under the woman.

" I think this deserves celebration." she said seductively.

Naruto gulped. _I can't do this. I can't do this._

REROUTING BLOOD SUPPLY announced a voice in his brain.

_Abort! Abort!_ Naruto thought, trying to stop his body. _This is a emergency override!_

COMMAND NOT ACCEPTED. INVALID USER NAME. said the voice.

_Override Choji-jumpsuit one!_ thought Naruto desperately.

EWW. Said the voice. JUST FOR THAT, WE'RE DOIN HER TWICE.

Naruto whimpered mentally as Anko kissed him.

----

" And that's pretty much it." said Sakura's mother in conclusion. " Any questions?"

" WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BLOOD?" cried Sasuke in fear. He had curled up in a ball nearly twenty minutes ago after hearing things no man should ever know.

" It's just how nature works, sweetie." said Sakura's mother apologetically.

" I'm going to be sick." said Sasuke, standing up and running for the bathroom. Sakura's mother gave a triumphant smile and left.

After throwing up twice, Sasuke had to shower. He felt…unclean. It took a lot of effort to keep his eyes shut, especially since he could feel everything, but he did, at least until he got out and looked instinctively in the mirror. He stood for several minutes, staring at the nude girl in the glass.

And then, the recesses of his male psyche could resist no longer.

" Heh. Boobs." giggled Sasuke.


	3. Chapter 3

A loud knocking came from the front door.

" Ignore it." hissed Anko as Naruto (in Kakashi's body) tried to crawl away in vain.

" But…it might be important or something." said Naruto lamely.

" Oh?" said Anko, giving him puppy dog eyes. " More important than me?"

" I just….need a break! Believe it!" said Naruto, dragging himself away from her. She pouted and sat back on the messy bed.

Naruto made his way though Kakashi's apartment, throwing on the pants Anko had ripped off earlier, fixing his forehead protector, and trying to relax.

Like that could happen, though. He'd just lost his virginity…in his teachers body….with his teachers girlfriends….a dozen times.

Trying to breath, he opened the door.

" Kakashi, my rival!" yelled Guy loudly. " You missed our date!"

_The….hell?_ thought Naruto, his eye twitching. _He's going out….with Guy?_

" We can have our challenge here if you wish, though! There is still time!"

_Oh. Yeah._ Naruto remembered how Guy was always challenging Kaka-sensei to weird contests. He looked outside. The sun had begun to come up, meaning it was still early morning.

" Okay, who's turn is it?" asked Naruto cautiously.

" Yours, my eternal rival!" declared Guy enthusiastically.

" Hmm." Naruto began to think deeply. Kinda. _I need to get rid of him quick so Anko won't hurt me…more. And I need to win for Kaka-sensei. What am I good at besides clones?_

" That's it!" said Naruto, inspiration striking. " Whoever can do the Sexy Technique the best wins!"

" The…what?" said Guy, blinking.

" It's a technique my student Naruto developed. It's quite useful. Watch!"

Naruto formed the hand seals, grinning at the bewildered Guy. _This is gonna be hilarious._

----

" Noooo!" cried Kakashi, rolling back on Sasuke's couch.

" Game Over." declared a voice as the screen went black.

" Okay, one more try at this, Mario, then I go have breakfast." said the Copy Ninja, focusing Sasuke's Sharingan and selecting continue. He'd been playing video games for hours.

And it was awesome.

----

" Another please!" said Sakura, plopping down the bowl of ramen. " This time, miso!"

Ayame smiled as she took the bowl. The girl in control of Naruto's body was eating as much as the boy usually did.

Sakura smiled as she caught the scent of the noodles cooking. _This is heaven._ she thought, slumping in her seat. _Sure, Naruto's body is weird._ she thought, remembering how she had messed up with her pants zipper again that morning and had some trouble with Naruto's…parts…when she thought about Sasuke, but food had never tasted this good and it was awesome having chakra like this.

**Hey kit. **

_Huh?_ thought Sakura, blinking. She suddenly found herself in what looked like a sewer, standing by a large barred door.

**Kit, are you listening?**said the voice again. She looked up, spotting what looked like the Kyuubi facing her. Besides her, the black and white Inner Sakura ( who looked like Naruto now) had appeared. **Good. Now, I want to make my case for you killing a bunch of people.**

" What?" said Sakura and Inner Sakura, blinking.

**I know you don't want to do it, but come on! Just a few people! I'm bored**! Whined the Kyuubi.

" It's the real demon fox." said Inner Sakura blinking. " From what I can tell, it's sealed in Naruto."

" Woah." said Sakura in awe.

**What are you talking about, Kit?**

" I'm not Naruto." explained Sakuka. " I'm his teammate. We don't know why, but we switched bodies."

**Oh. So, do YOU want to kill someone?**

" Hell no!" said Inner Sakura, leaping into the cage. Sakura cried out, but a moment later Inner Sakura walked out of the shadows holding a small mangy fox.

" Aww, is the Kyuubi a wuss?" cooed Inner Sakura, taunting the fox, which growled weakly at her. She bopped it over the nose. " I'll handle him from here out. Go back to the ramen._"_

" Hell yes!" cheered Sakura as the ramen stand returned.

Ayame grimaced. Naruto was enthusiastic about ramen, but not nearly as crazy about it as this girl.

----

" Hi sweetie!" said Sakura's mother as Sasuke entered the kitchen. " I'm sorry about last night…"

" It's okay." said Sasuke, trying to smile. _How the hell do you the smile?_ he thought, trying to twitch the muscles in his cheek. Sakura's mother seemed to think her daughter was just feeling uncomfortable and dropped the issue. Sasuke took a seat at the table.

" Your aunt and her families going to be by tonight." said Sakura's mother, frying up some eggs. " They'll be staying here for a few days until after the reunion."

_Reunion? Aunt?_ thought Sasuke, mind reeling. _Oh yeah. Sakura's family isn't dead. I hope I don't have to baby sit any little kids._

" I hope that you could shout your aunt's daughter some of the ninja techniques you have learned." said Sakura's mother, continuing breakfast. " She's approaching academy age and you might spark her interest. Your other cousins will probably want to see too."

" How old are they again?" inquired Sasuke.

" Oh, most are under ten." said Sakura's mother, handin g Sasuke breakfast. " You're the oldest in this generation of Haruno. The next closest to you is your cousin Mari who just turned twenty six."

_Yay._ thought Sasuke, looking down at his meal. He caught sight of Sakura's breasts, which were in the way, as usual. _Heh. Boobs._

----

" I win!" declared Guy before racing off. Naruto was on the ground, blood streaming from his nose.

" Hey, your already in position!" said Anko, shutting the door.

_Kaka-sensei, your life is beyond awesome._

----

" Who put that block there!" screamed Kakashi, jumping up and down. " Every time! Why is there always a invisible block!"

Kakashi was finding Super Mario Brothers quite frustrating. But in a good way.

" Break time." he said dropping the controller. _I'll go somewhere and get my focus back. Then your going down, Bowser. Another S-Class opponent to add to my List of Victories. _

Running down the street, Kakashi drew a lot of stares. The last Uchiha was famously stoic, and seeing him behave in a childlike manner was extremely odd. Passing his favorite bookstore, Kakashi skidded to halt. In the window was a Make Out Universe, Jiraiya's newest novel.

" It must be mine!" he cried, racing inside. However, he was caught by the storekeeper and tossed out almost instantly.

_Oh yeah. I'm twelve._ thought Kakashi dourly, standing up.

" Sasuke-kun!" came a girly voice from behind him. He looked over his shoulder, spotting Asuma and his team of genin walking in his direction, Ino waving fan girlishly. " How are you?"

" Pretty good." said Kakashi, smiling and putting his arms behind his head in a relaxe pose.

" You talked to me!" said Ino, stunned. " Eeeeee! Sakura's going to be so jealous!" said the girl as she pumped her arm into the air triumphantly.

" What's with you, Sasuke?" said Shikamaru, raising a eyebrow. " You seem happy."

" Oh yeah. Angst." said Kakashi, remembering how the Uchiha acted.

" Hey, have you seen Kakashi?" asked Asuma, looking around. Kakashi usualy was near where Sasuke, his favorite pupil was.

" No, not today." said Kakashi with a laugh. He didn't feel like explaining everything to Asuma. It would just cause more headaches.

" Sasuke-kun, I've got tonight open…." said Ino, winking seductively. " We could go on a date if you want."

" Sure!" said Kakashi quickly. _Sorry Anko, but I'm going to enjoy being a kid to the fullest. _

" Dammit." said Ino, sulking.

" Huh?" Choji looked confused.

" It's not the real Sasuke. He'd never go on a date with me." said Ino sadly. However, Kakashi walked over and lifted her head so they were looking into each others eyes.

" It's me." he said, trying to sound cool. " And I hope you don't mind this." Before Ino could react he leaned forward and kissed her.

Ino promptly fainted.

----

Sore, embarrassed, and extremely happy, Naruto left Kakashi's apartment when Anko finally had to leave. It was almost noon. He walked down the streets randomly, not really going anywhere.

" Yo." said Kakashi (in Sasuke's body), landing by Naruto.

" Hey." said Naruto tiredly, looking to his teacher. " I…have to tell you something about Anko."

" Let me guess, she was mad you missed her date?" said Kakashi with a laugh.

" Yeah, but when I told her why I was instead of making up something lame like you, she kinda…."

" What?"

" Look, I'm sorry, I didn't have much control!" said Naruto defensively. Kakashi blinked. " She was ontop of me in a instant and then my pants were gone and everything after that's this awesome blur and then Guy came by for a challenge and won and Anko pinned my again…"

" What?" said Kakashi, not understanding. Naruto sighed.

" I had sex with your girlfriend."

" Oh."

"…"

" So, did you give her a good one?"

----

" Hi!" said a slightly pudgy woman with pink hair as she entered the Haruno residence, a beleaguered looking man and four pink haired girls of various ages in tow. Sakura's mother raced over and hugged the woman that Sasuke guessed was Sakura's aunt and began talking, while the man slumped onto the sofa exhaustedly.

" Sakura!" cried the little girls, swarming over.

" Hi." said Sasuke lamely, not knowing what to say.

" I heard you're a kunochi now and that's really cool and I want to see all the cool things you can do and I want you to teach me them and then I want to fight someone and save someone and then could we go spy on that cute boy your showed us last time we were here he had the hair that looked like a ducks butt and…."

Sasuke's eye twitched.

_Must….not…use…Chidori…._

_Oh. Scratch that._

" Hey, uh, follow me outside and I'll show you my jutsu!" said Sasuke with a nervous chuckle. He was practically pushed outside by the small girls. In the back yard there was a small garden, several cheery trees, and a single training post that hadn't seen use in years.

" What'cha gonna show us first?" said the oldest girl eagerly.

" This!" said Sasuke, smirking and gripping his wrist. The girls all fell back as the Chidori activated, cracling around his wrist violently. _And it was so easy._ he mused.

" What's that?" said the oldest girl in awe.

" Chidori, my favorite attack. Watch."

Sasuke turned as the girls looked on in amazement. He lunged at the defenseless training pole and stabbed through it, cutting a neat hole straight though the wood. He pulled his arm back, revealing the crackling, charred wood.

" No way!" said one of the girls.

" Your awesome!"

" I want to go to the ninja academy!"

" Teach us to do that!"

Sasuke smiled genuinely. The little kids were all so eager and it was great to hear them complimenting him. _Way better relatives than Itachi._

" Okay, I'll show you some things." began Sasuke. " But that move's really hard and too dangerous for you." The young girls have a collective sigh of disappointment. " Here." said Sasuke, drawing the dozens of kunai he kept hidden in Sakura's clothes. " I'm going to show you how to throw kunai, the most basic ninja skill."

Sasuke smiled as the girls looked up with stars in their eyes.

" Now, watch how I do this." said Sasuke, turning as tossing the kunai for a perfect bullseye onto the training log. _I finally remembered to not bump my arms into Sakura's breasts_ he thought, mentally congratulating himself.

_Heh. Boobs._


End file.
